[awareness]

:the state or ability to perceive, to feel, or to be conscious of events, objects or sensory patterns. In this level of consciousness, sense data can be confirmed by an observer without necessarily implying understanding. more broadly, it is the state or quality of being aware of something. 

popular ideas about consciousness phenomenon describes a condition of being aware of ones awareness or self-awareness. 

please know there are much better things in life than being lonely or liked or bitter or self-conscious. go love someone just because. there are the most fantastic, beautiful things and people out there. it is up to you to find them.

Sometimes shopping be dangerous. Other times, it can be inspirational. The above was from a t-shirt I bought yesterday at Zara. I feel like it kind of sums up my almost two months in Ukraine.

So does this:

13 things that make a morning in Ukraine spectacular.

*Waking up just early enough to skype some of your favorite people at home just before they go to bed.

*Spoonfuls of peanut butter & Rosehip tea for breakfast.

*Being able to work the doors properly and avoiding evil door lady who doesn't seem to like Americans.

*Getting to sit down on the bus, over the heater.

*Wearing red boots that keep toes dry and toasty.

*Being on the right bus, when thinking you accidentally got on and paid for the wrong one.

*Sun & blue sky.

*Blue sunglasses.

*Not falling on the ice on the way to school

*Melting permafrost.

*Deas Vail.

*More tea.

*and this smile:

2.14.11

Its official. I've been in Kyiv for exactly one month! It has flown by, I can't even believe it. I feel like so much has happened in the last week, I just don't know where to start.. I know, I shall start at the beginning- Last Friday. 


I was so excited to move hostfamilies. After class, Oksana rushed me out of the school with my luggage into a van and we were off. I was expecting a whole family like my last.. instead I got a Nina!
Nina is amazing. She is a 19 year old university student and I live with her in her flat. I've only been with her a short while, but it feels like we've known each other for years. It is so great to have freedom to come and go as I need and not have to worry about living a million miles in the country. Needless to say, I lucked out:) 


Last Saturday, I got the chance to go to the Kyiv temple. It was quite the experience. Since it is the only temple in the Slavic countries and east of Germany, people come from all over to do work there. It is sometimes quite the journey, sometimes we take for granted that we live so close to temples in the States. The Spirit was so strong there. It was amazing how I could feel so much at home, thousands of miles away.


The rest of my week was pretty typical, except wednesday was the start of my Valentines week. I had been getting calls from strange numbers for a few days. I finally answered but of course, no english. Finally on wednesday, after calling me 13 times, I answered again. It was a miracle, they figured out I don't speak Russian. The lady told me that she had a present for me.. from Jim.. weird haha. Long story short, I had the best pre valentines day ever. Derek had ordered me the most beautiful flowers and amazing ukrainian chocolate. I've never had anyone do something for me like this.

For some reason, maybe its just because I am my mother's daughter, I am not easily surprised. Some how, involuntarily or not, I have figured out every potential surprise, ever. It's been pretty detrimental the last few years.  But this came pretty close. 

They delievered the package to me at school, I was rather speechless, they even insisted on getting a picture.. Derek said he had sent me something, but since I had been sick, I thought it was a box of tissues (Kleenex here are scented and have the texture of cardboard and are about as absorbent as sheet rock). 


On Monday, we visited the all infamous lock bridge of Kyiv. People have been locking love here for years, so we figured it was our time too. I wish I would have had more time to take pictures, but it was -13 degrees celsius and I was afraid of losing a limb. 

Still loving it here! 3 months to go!

A new start to new.

I have been updating on my not so simple day to day life lately and really have not had a chance to just write. Writing; my anit drug.

Not that I would need an anti drug here. Fruit tea is my new addiction.

My first three weeks here have been life changing already. I have already grown so much. I feel like I can almost conquer the world.. or maybe just the west side of the Dnieper river. I am definitely shedding my perinoia, I so acquired from my wonderful mother and taking Ukraine on full force.

Now that I am finally over my jetlag and culture shock, I am starting a new, new. My first few weeks was a bit about trial and error. Lots of error on multiple ends. My host family was my biggest challenge. A large family consisting of Igor and Natasha- my parents, Anya- 9 year old sister, Dima- 20 something host brother who never spoke to me and Tanya, his girlfriend. The house is always so crazy. My room is right in central to the kitchen, living room, and stairs. I seemed to be in the middle of everything, all the time. The best part was the lack of communication. I could never expect someone who does not speak english to constantly try to include me, thus I spent countless hours in my room until I was called to eat, ate alone, then sent back to my room. Luckily, a few wonderful people in my life were willing to stay up all hours so I would not be lonely. Facebook is good at that also.

Last week, I was sitting in my room, like usual, and realized, I am in Ukraine, freaking Ukraine! Yet, I am sitting here on  my butt in a small room on my computer. I am here to teach, to serve. I love being here and having parts of home with me, but there is a difference of those things keeping me grounded and holding me back.

I am moving host families tomorrow night, its time to start over and do this right. No more facebook. Skype and email with the few that I can. I am tired of certain people dictating the way I feel. I am tired of waiting for that one email or that one post. Quite frankly I am sick of the crap on facebook and how it is such a big part of everyone's life.  I am here to do a wonderful thing that has already changed me in so many ways, this is where my focus needs to be. This opportunity has been just what I needed. I am surrounded by some of the greatest people I have ever met. This is not by chance. We call it a spiritual revamp of our lives and that is exactly what it is. How many times do we really take a look at our busy lives and reassess, what really counts? Why do we need to post our lives on the internet? Why in the world do we do things to spite others in doing this? We need to get off our butts and do something extraordinary.  I am having the time of my life losing myself in service.

This is the hardest thing I have ever done. It's hard for me not to complain sometimes.  Sure, teaching is stressful but we do it. Walking thirty minuets in the cold when the bus does not come sucks, but we do it anyway. This is such an eye opening experience for me. I can't run to my car, turn the heat on and drive away. I have to walk in the snow, stop to try to find a bus, run to the bus, miss the bus, walk another thirty minuets to the metro, fight for room in the metro, wait for the marshutka for thirty minuets, pile 50 people into a vehicle made for 10, hope it stops, then walk another twenty minutes home and miss dinner. This is what I am doing, I am GREATFUL for it and loving every frozen minuet!

Sacrificing my comforts at home has really helped me see God's hand in my life, every moment, everyday. Leaders of the church are always telling us to SIMPLIFY, this is why. Small things that normally would not make much difference in my day are things that I have grown to love. Tender mercies of the Lord are so great. My Father knows me, He knows my fears and trials and He loves me.
I could have not and I still cannot do this alone. There is no way.

Its in His hands, I have to remember. I get to start new with my new family. Beginning now, the complaining stops. The distractions are going away, facebook will not dictate my life, stupid people are not going to matter anymore and I'm going to start anew:)

Email: b.jones91@hotmail.com
Skype: b.jones91