I have been updating on my not so simple day to day life lately and really have not had a chance to just write. Writing; my anit drug.
Not that I would need an anti drug here. Fruit tea is my new addiction.
My first three weeks here have been life changing already. I have already grown so much. I feel like I can almost conquer the world.. or maybe just the west side of the Dnieper river. I am definitely shedding my perinoia, I so acquired from my wonderful mother and taking Ukraine on full force.
Now that I am finally over my jetlag and culture shock, I am starting a new, new. My first few weeks was a bit about trial and error. Lots of error on multiple ends. My host family was my biggest challenge. A large family consisting of Igor and Natasha- my parents, Anya- 9 year old sister, Dima- 20 something host brother who never spoke to me and Tanya, his girlfriend. The house is always so crazy. My room is right in central to the kitchen, living room, and stairs. I seemed to be in the middle of everything, all the time. The best part was the lack of communication. I could never expect someone who does not speak english to constantly try to include me, thus I spent countless hours in my room until I was called to eat, ate alone, then sent back to my room. Luckily, a few wonderful people in my life were willing to stay up all hours so I would not be lonely. Facebook is good at that also.
Last week, I was sitting in my room, like usual, and realized, I am in Ukraine, freaking Ukraine! Yet, I am sitting here on my butt in a small room on my computer. I am here to teach, to serve. I love being here and having parts of home with me, but there is a difference of those things keeping me grounded and holding me back.
I am moving host families tomorrow night, its time to start over and do this right. No more facebook. Skype and email with the few that I can. I am tired of certain people dictating the way I feel. I am tired of waiting for that one email or that one post. Quite frankly I am sick of the crap on facebook and how it is such a big part of everyone's life. I am here to do a wonderful thing that has already changed me in so many ways, this is where my focus needs to be. This opportunity has been just what I needed. I am surrounded by some of the greatest people I have ever met. This is not by chance. We call it a spiritual revamp of our lives and that is exactly what it is. How many times do we really take a look at our busy lives and reassess, what really counts? Why do we need to post our lives on the internet? Why in the world do we do things to spite others in doing this? We need to get off our butts and do something extraordinary. I am having the time of my life losing myself in service.
This is the hardest thing I have ever done. It's hard for me not to complain sometimes. Sure, teaching is stressful but we do it. Walking thirty minuets in the cold when the bus does not come sucks, but we do it anyway. This is such an eye opening experience for me. I can't run to my car, turn the heat on and drive away. I have to walk in the snow, stop to try to find a bus, run to the bus, miss the bus, walk another thirty minuets to the metro, fight for room in the metro, wait for the marshutka for thirty minuets, pile 50 people into a vehicle made for 10, hope it stops, then walk another twenty minutes home and miss dinner. This is what I am doing, I am GREATFUL for it and loving every frozen minuet!
Sacrificing my comforts at home has really helped me see God's hand in my life, every moment, everyday. Leaders of the church are always telling us to SIMPLIFY, this is why. Small things that normally would not make much difference in my day are things that I have grown to love. Tender mercies of the Lord are so great. My Father knows me, He knows my fears and trials and He loves me.
I could have not and I still cannot do this alone. There is no way.
Its in His hands, I have to remember. I get to start new with my new family. Beginning now, the complaining stops. The distractions are going away, facebook will not dictate my life, stupid people are not going to matter anymore and I'm going to start anew:)
Email: b.jones91@hotmail.com
Skype: b.jones91
